I decided today that I’d spend the day with mom, help her out with errands, and take her out to lunch. Here are my Facebook status updates from throughout today:

Day with mom part 1: Eating oatmeal with moms on the couch and watching cooking shows with her. She’s surprised at how many cooking shows there are now. “Nonstop cooks” she said. “Everyone’s on the bandwagon” Oh mom…COMON!!!!

Day with Mom part 2: Finish eating our oatmeal. I’m like “Hey did you put Vanilla in this?” She says it’s a protein powder. “I don’t need protein!” I tell her. And point at my awesome (ie: girly) arms. She gave me a “wtf are you talking about” look and went back to the kitchen to wash up.

Day with Mom part 3: Finished talking to mom about things I needed to do while I’m back here, and went ahead and booked my flight back to Vegas. We’re going to the bank next, and then to lunch.

Day with Mom part 4: Went to Tenkaippin for lunch (again) and smelling all garlicky (again). Afterwards waited around at the vitamin shop while mom meandered around like she always does, then went to Foodland to do bank stuff and go fruits shopping.

Day with mom part 5: At Foodland I’m blown away at how produce costs twice as much as it does in Vegas. EXCEPT CHICKEN LIVER! Some kind of weird special today where they were selling trays of old chicken liver for 9 cents a pound. After mom flipped out for a while, we bought the last three 2lb trays they had. Total cost: About 57 cents. No clue what we’re gonna do now though. Probably dog food and some human food.

Day with Mom part 6: On the drive home from Foodland, mom’s still happy about cheap chicken livers. I initiate a highfive. She sits there confused for a while and does a upward-swinging underhand reverse-’gimme-five’. I spend the rest of the drive home explaining the difference between ‘gimme five’ and ‘highfive’.